Why are we afraid to ask for help? Does this situation sound familiar to you? You find yourself faced with an obstacle, challenge, or other situation that feels almost impossible to overcome. You know that you can get past it, though; all you have to do is ask someone else, like a family member, friend, or loved one, to help you. #AskForHelp #Helping #ReachOut Music: null Summary: On to the big question: why do some people find it so hard to ask others for help? After all, it seems to go against anything that would make sense. Why would anyone choose to struggle alone, instead of reaching out to others who can possibly provide help and assistance with whatever the first person was trying to accomplish? Well as it turns out, the answer to this question may have something to do with our psychology. According to Dr. Joan Rosenberg, an expert in emotional mastery, we may have become conditioned to believe that asking for help is to be perceived as either a burden or as a sign of emotional weakness. In her article on the subject for Psychology Today, Dr. Rosenberg writes: “We are inherently social beings. Yet most people who have grown up in individualistic cultures like the United States are often raised with the belief that relying on others and asking for help is a burden to others and makes you seem emotionally weak. Despite these views, there is ultimately very little that any of us do to succeed fully on our own, even if that is hard to acknowledge.” Dr. Rosenberg argues that we need to be able to balance our individual needs for both independence as well as dependence, rather than leaning too hard into one over the other. In other words, we should recognize our need to be alone in order to pursue and accomplish individual goals and motivations, but we should also recognize when it’s necessary for us to be with others, as well as when it is necessary to ask others for help with a goal. Our emotional strength should be defined by our ability to not only act independently but also to know when it is time to look for others to assist us and being confident and comfortable enough with yourself to ask for it. According to Rosenberg: “Asking for help is not a burden nor a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of humanness.” Another reason that someone might be afraid to ask others for help is due to a fear of rejection. The fear of asking for help only to be denied to told “no” can put a lot of stress and social pressure on the person doing the asking, and it can be easy to internalize this rejection and feel as though the reason the other person said no has something to do with us directly. But we should remember that it doesn’t have to be this way. Laurie Leinwand, a psychotherapist, counsellor, and hypnotherapist, had this to say in her article for GoodTherapy: “Being told ‘no’ does not have to be awful. We do not have to weave a story and personalize the rejection [...] It may be that the person we chose to ask didn’t have the appropriate resources to help us at that time. It’s best to accept the ‘no’ as the answer to our request, not a negation of ourselves. A “no” tells us not to waste any more time and energy asking this particular person, and guides us closer to someone who will say ‘yes.’” In other words, if you ask someone for help and they say no, try not to take it personally. It could just mean that they don’t have anything to offer at that moment that can help with your particular problem, and it has nothing to do with you as a person. Instead of getting hung up over that rejection, move on and continue asking for help until you find someone who can and will provide assistance with your problem. Dr. Leinwand tells us that there are three things that we can gain by asking others for help. Firstly, it gives us the ability and opportunity to move forward, allowing us to solve whatever problems we are faced with and become more productive. Secondly, we gain the ability and opportunity to collaborate, allowing us to share both advice and admiration with the people we are helping or are helping us. Last but not least, asking for help gives us the ability and opportunity to learn, and develop new approaches and strategies based on the kind of help that we receive. This way, we don’t only receive assistance in solving problems and overcoming obstacles, but we also create new avenues and opportunities to help others and in turn be helped in the future. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subscribe to Bestie : https://goo.gl/tUqro6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bestieinc/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Medical Disclaimer: https://pastebin.com/xLmigD6i Website: www.bestie.com